One day

One day I'll get the courage 

One day I won't feel like the odd man out 

One day I won't care about how I fit into

The obscene puzzle workings of social standings 

And mannerisms and expectations

One day I'll stand on my own two feet 

Less concerned with the conceded out bringings of 

Him her and them

One day the alcohol won't need to be a catalyst 

For truth and wise ephiphonies 

One day I'll be everything Ment to be

Want to be

Thought I'd be

And it will come like the first breath of the day

One day I'll know who I am 

Who I wish I could be

One day the fears I fear will ease 

One day that won't be such a substial part of me

But out of all the days I wait for that one day

Lies in wait the one day

That I won't be here at all

Xoxo

Scarlet 

What is there left

Forgive and forget 

What do I do with what's left inside

My chest my head 

What's left

Where do I stand

When do I realize who I think I am

His smile 

His heart

It all feels real

Then why am I shaking with anticipation 

Why do I always assume it's a lie

A trick 

Anything than what it is 

Or what it can be 

What is there left to doubt 

What makes me think like this

I just want to close my eyes

And reawaken to a me that's me I've

Never seen

A me that can have a good thing 

That can see a happy ending and

Know

Just know 

His voice he can calm me like the eye of

A storm just before it swollaws the ship

On endless breaks

His hands

They carry me forward 

But I can't trust it 

I can't see it it's somewhere

I've never seen before 

He doesn't know what's here

Where it is 

And how long it will sleep

Before it's sick fruition 

Take care of me

Heal me

Help me 

Teach me that I'm not dreaming

That you can be everything I think

I want 

I need

My knight 

My love

Hat scare

That rush keep me still

Change my perspective 

Help me see

I'm worth your affection 

Xoxo,

Scarlet

Take it home

He makes me tremble 

I can't take his stare

He makes me weak 

What do I do when I can't tell the truer version of me 

What can seem infinant 

Timeless

Where do my feet hit the ground 

The error of his ways

Always the problem

I'll wait and hope 

Hope I can keep a strait face that I can 

Pretend I don't feel the sting 

Two weeks 

Two weeks and I'm already the dispute

The heartache 

The trouble 

The clouded mind

I'm the wrong no one should have me

No one should have the disease the stillness 

Of pain that sweeps with me everywhere I go 

I am the untouchable the soulless wanderer that brings the void

No one should have that 

I am destined to be alone

And lonely inhabitant of the sorrow shrouding me

My path is never ment for two

I only bring those that try to hold my hand off

The beaten trail 

One day I'll accept that 

One day I'll stop trying 

I'll soon learn my happiness is not worth sacrificing 

That of the ones who so dearly deserve sanctity 

And the goodness that they were born with 

I'll learn that pining for my own laugh

For my own happiness

Is selfish and should stay 

A willpower dream 

Xoxo,

Scarlet