Wednesday, November 27, 2013

she sleeps beside me

my little sister lays next to me
shes 12
I think about when I was 12
how horrific it was
I pity what shell grow thru
tomorrow is thanksgiveing

a time to celebrate family and be grateful
but what am I grateful for ?
nothing
everything I wait for is gone
my grannies car
my peepaws truck wont pull up

I cant even make her pie right
 shes gone...
why cant I be with them
I think Id be much more grateful where they are than where I am

 blue left
hes gone hes not here to save me
 im getting worse


I cant evem take the babies screams my own
my kin
my brothers and sisters who cant help it
I cant handle it
my aniexty feels like Im suffocating
I miss him

why doES he have to be gone on me right now
 I feel so lost like im just in a blur like no one gets me
gid to  I love my momma but een she seems just clueless to me


I don't want tomorrow to exist without my granny yet it does.

the one rock I have isn't here so...
tomorrow..
will just have to hurt...

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